Anniversary

It's been over a year since my last post. A friend gently reminded me of what I have known for a while now (though I hadn't realized just how long it had been) - I have all but given up writing.

But I do remember writing sometime recently, I told him. Signing into my blogger account brought a rueful smile to my face - the last time I'd finished a post was over a year ago. True, there were five meandering, unfinished pieces of scattered thoughts put together, left to edit at some later, inspired time. Soon I just tired of it and decided that if I must doodle, MS Word was probably a better scribble pad. At least I wouldn't feel the need to finish anything. That way, I might write something. Anything.

It turns out that I was right. It was a struggle to get past a couple of paragraphs, and I still have no flow, just disconnected thoughts with an overarching theme binding them together, a theme that I eventually hope to flesh out with greater integrity.

But this is to remind myself that this scribble pad is still here. This too can go some way in keeping alive the one thing that, in my mind, sets me apart from others. I can write. I can help other people write. People can turn to me when they want words that can move them. Words listen to me, and I to them. They obey me. Through words I can express love, hope, anxiety and regret. Acknowledge thoughts that I feel glad to put voice to. They remind me that I can exist in myself. They help me fight loneliness, and feel big and proud. They give my soul peace.

So now I write this, to capture my fleeting conviction that this year will be different from the last. This year, I will do more than think my own thoughts - I will live my own life.

Next, something concrete - a book review.