Communication

A pleasant development over the past month or so has been that I've been getting in touch with people I haven't spoken to in ages. Or to put it more accurately, they've been getting in touch with me. Cousins, old friends... feels good to know that no matter how long the hiatus is, some connections are not lost easily. With some of them there isn't even a catching up phase - one gets right back to a platform of exchange that one knows cannot be shared with everyone. One friend who I've known since my kindergarten days has literally trained me into keeping in touch over the years, something I am quite terrible at otherwise. I'm grateful to him for that - I know that I have a tendency to forget birthdays and other important events so they think I'm too busy to care. I completely lose sight of the fact that someone I once spent hours chatting with is still on my contact list and one fine day wonder what happened to us. I'm just glad they don't. It's taught me to initiate contact and have them tell me more about about their life and times. It's also helped me realize that some very unlikely people might be more interested in who we are growing into than the ones that we expect. I'd like to put it down to priority of importance - then again, the implications of that is not my favourite area of thought.

I was quite taken aback when a teacher from my ex-college replied to one of my posts - it made me realize that there are other people with similar concerns and made me see the larger picture of it all. If the policy-makers of an institution themselves are trying to figure out ways to simplify the process of education, and in the process make it more individualistic, then I'm not exactly being anti-establishment by sitting back and passing judgment on those who worship the system. Perhaps this is the only way to be at the moment, but there must be ways to work around the negative aspects of competition. I'm positive that there are - just give me some time. :)

I've turned into a regular homebody now... I look forward to rushing home a day before the weekend starts and watch all the music-competition shows there are on television, sometimes twice over. It's a ritualistic thing for me and mom... she says it's when the realization that I'm not home full-time hits her most starkly. That, and when she settles down for an hour-long date with the karaoke mike. She says its not the same without me. :) I also realized that my dog has turned so much more docile than he used to be... a few years back I wouldn't dare take him out alone for fear that stray dogs would catch his attention and with one tug of the leash I'd be lying face-down on the ground and he'd be getting his ears or nose bitten off. He's quite the gentleman these days... lets me lead him where I want, comes and says hello every morning and at odd times during the day, lets me fondle his ears for as long as I want to. Well, within limits. In short, he's started behaving like my Dad isn't the only human being worth any attention in the house. Even so, he still follows Dad around everywhere... sometimes waiting outside a closed door for Mary to come out and bestow his hand upon the lamb's head. For walks and other fun activities, Mom and I are last resorts. She used to be the last word in food requests - now she's been displaced from that position too. I was a plaything for many years... to be mauled about when he felt like it, and the moment I tried to hug him he'd squirm away. He'd sleep under my bed because my room was the coolest during the summer, and when I, all tired from a long day at school and other places, would climb onto it, he'd rush out of there like some gladiator and start baring his fangs at me for invading his territory. He frightened me so much one day that I said to Dad with tears of anger in my eyes - "Take his away! He's not my dog. My dog wouldn't try to bite me!" Obviously, Dad took his side and said I was bigger than him, so I ought to be more magnanimous and understanding. It was summer, he was getting cranky, he was probably having a nice dream about chasing a bunch of scrawny dogs when I brought him crashing back to reality with my noisy clambering... of course he was going to be mad! I also wanted to add that I saw absolutely no point in having a dog when he didn't let me cuddle him or show him off or anything, but I'd already been scolded for saying that and other mean things which also included the 'pound' word. (Ssshhhhh!) Everybody ignored my tantrums... called it sibling rivalry. I'm just glad to finally be in his evoked set. Probably sees that I'm an adult now and that I can't be pushed.. er... pulled around.