Soooo many things to do. It feels like I've been hibernating for years. Reely need to get your act together.. Zombie!! :D I LOVE singing that song with the band. Feels good to be part of da very very extraordi-nary bunch of musical vellas. The crowd totally loves me! Never been that much of a crowd favourite while performing before. I think I will call Sledge, get some phone numbers and become the lead singer for some heavy metal band in the city ;) Then I have to call Metro Plus (It will be SO cool if I get selected into their freelancers panel), then I have to make my resume da da da da. Enough to keep me busy for a while I hope. The nights are the worst. Why won't someone take me out boozing??!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I want a combined hug from my best friends, sloshed and slurring, a lot of 'I'm sorrys'. Sniff.
Courage is must be the most difficult thing in the world to measure... tehre are no fixed parameters, a thousand million scenarios and a thousand million people longing to get a taste of that feeling of having been brave. I am one of those people. I want to look back at today and feel that I showed the kind of discipline and strength that is reason for getting past the demons that plague me. It is oh so much easier to just go along with them, they aren't really that frightening you know. That much harder to convince myself that unless I discipline myself right now, God save me.
I'm starting to hate the phrase 'Life goes on'. I keep saying it to myself, everyone keeps saying it to me... makes me feel downer than ever. Like there is no tomorrow, and everyone is just trying hard to kid me into thinking there is. Someone whose opinion matters a lot to me told me today that I was a tough customer, and that not everyone liked tough customers. I don't know if it shows that much... I always will be that in my head, but I thought I was doing a rather good job telling that part of my head to keep shut most of the time. If I don't listen to my mind in its sanest times, I will be doing my existence a grave injustice. After all, cogito ergo sum.
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