The Rut

It's been a while since I've felt this out of phase. Nothing seems to make as much sense I'd like it to- hanging out, talking to friends, going out, eating, drinking, sleeping, the weather. There is only quite so much mundaneness one can take. The only thing that leaves me the least bit satisfied is the little bit of studying that I do. I suppose that is a ray of light in an otherwise dismal scenario. I'd like to think that I am a more balanced person now than I was a few years ago, but then there didn't seem to be so many things to be discontented about. Didn't finish sudoku today. Not a great start to what should have been a compensation for the not-so-great yesterday. It doesn't help that I lost money and a byootiful purse in the bargain. Only I could be pea-brained enough to take a clutch-purse into a pub when I know that I'm going to be plastered and singing songs at the top of my voice on the ride back and not really caring what I have in my hand. My life desperately needs to rise from being more than a series of than random rendezvous with random people, random conversations. Hell, all it needs is incentive I suppose. And there is no dearth of that.

Woke up like a good girl at six and went on a very refreshing morning walk. Sleeping at 3 and 4 doesn't agree with me much these days. I must be getting old. Neither does anything even remotely sweet but that is just the opposite of a sweet-tooth that I suffer from, a legacy from my father. One cube of sugar is as much as I want in my tea. So the liquid that they serve in the mess that reminds me of gripe water or sugar syrup makes me grimace. The trip plans are nowhere near decided, I feel like going to the most bustling place I could possibly go to to unwind this time. Don't feel like having a lazy time in some beautiful, green hill-station. I'll try and figure out some way to make myself useful to someone now. Someone's status says 'love is in the air'. Bah. That's it. I'm off.