Jabber Jabber

HCU JAM was awful!! There was the rudest guy who was the excuse for a mod, who kept asking me to shut up when I got worked up about bad decisions, and who wouldn't budge from the stance that a sentence COULD indeed start with an 'and' or a 'but' :s. Ours was sooooo cool in comparison, thanks to the fullhyd guy and the helix pros. I also sang :$. Okay. Let's pretend I didn't say that. Then I had cotton candy after ages, and met our sweet old ex-english teacher. Man.. does she know how to age gracefully. I will also get a short hair cut like her when I am 60. (My apologies to her if she's younger :s)

Santa Claus, Anti- Christ, fairies, elves- how silly are westerners? But I guess giving kids something they can believe in implicitly that brings them joy isn’t the world’s biggest crime. Anyway, the fact remains that we never had to believe in the supernatural to be balanced people later on in life. One day I had got into this discussion about whether beauty could be attributed to men. I thought it could. In fact, the distinction between handsomness and male beauty couldn’t be clearer to me. I can see two people in my mind’s eye- the on who’s handsome, and the other who’s beautiful. And I would probably look forward to a first conversaiotn with the former, though I’d hesitate to trust the latter. Oh! Someone I know was called pretty today. And he isn't a girl. And it's because of candy floss. :D

I gave this personality test that one of my cousins sent through e-mail. It said: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not tolet it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out. It's not very often that you get to hear so many nice things about yourself all at once. :D

I’m writing all this hoping that sometime in the future I can read this and identify with the person I am now if I’ve changed, and wonder at how little I’ve changed if I haven’t. At one time when I wanted desperately to write but could think of zilch to write about, I was cribbing about the sad state of affairs in my creative life. Then Dad suggested that I write my memoirs imagining I was 40 years old. I jumped at the idea then , but then forgot about it and remembered it again just now. I still think it’s worth a shot. I just hope I don’t feel depressed about it when I am 40, and wish that my life really had been like it is going to be in these make-believe memoirs.

Memoirs

I am 45 and reasonably happy. Not much different from the person I was 25 years ago, just older. I still think a lot about stuff I shouldn’t think about, I still kid myself into thinking I am this frank, straightforward person whose life is an open book. I am less that than I used to be though. Some of the things I had wanted to do when I was a kid I’ve done. Most of them have had to do with ‘want’. The ones that have had to do with ‘should’ are lagging a little further behind.

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More later.